Conker’s Bad Fur Day

Release Date: March 5, 2001

Platform Played On: N64

2018 Placement: #25 (-9)

What It Is:

A typical late 90s/early 00s mascot platformer on the N64, except throw everything typical out the window and replace it with an alcoholic squirrel, sunflowers with boobs, an operatic turd, Gregg the Grim Reaper, and more. Nintendo has always had a kid-focused, family-friendly vibe and Conker’s Bad Fur Day throws that image out the window in one of the crassest, absurdly dumb platformers in the history of gaming. And yet it’s still hilarious and fun to play.

I can’t say how well it holds up because it’s been a long time since I’ve played it, but for a slightly edgy teenager in high school this game was the absolute best. You play as Conker who is trying to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend and interact with a whole bunch of irreverent characters. Parodies abound as the game hits on all sorts of pop culture from the 90s, from The Matrix to Saving Private Ryan to Aliens (which isn’t from the 90s, but everyone was still hyped about the Alienverse then ok?) The gameplay is mostly platforming but with all sorts of other genres thrown into the blender of “would it be funny? then yes let’s do it.”

Why It’s Important To Me:

There’s always been humor in games. But Conker’s Bad Fur Day was a revelation to me. A lot of the humor is low brow and you’re not really going to laugh much if you don’t like the occasional fart joke. But there are a whole lot of clever moments interwoven with every time Conker belches after drinking to much or gets cursed out by a pile of money. Slightly before Max Payne perfected bullet time as an actual mechanic, Conker’s Matrix sequence emulated the movie in a video game and I was both in awe and laughing my ass off at the absurdity of a squirrel imitating Keanu Reeves.

After a lifetime of being a Nintendo kid and eating up their brand of video games, I really appreciated the lengths Bad Fur Day went to both have competent and interesting gameplay and also buck everything that was typically associated with these sorts of mascot platformers. One of the early missions in the game is doing a fetch quest to find ways to tickle a big-breasted sunflower so a bee has the chance to “pollinate” her. You won’t see that in Super Mario 64.

My Strongest Memory:

There’s a few. First, I can’t go without plugging Rock Solid, which is the best song in an amazing soundtrack and I still insist could be played in a regular club and nobody would know the difference. When I reached Rock Solid in the game, I probably jammed out to (and watched Conker do the worm to) this for a good half hour. I love it. Then, in the same vein of music, there’s the Great Mighty Poo boss fight. Yeah, it’s gross that you have to fight a giant turd. BUT THE TURD SINGS OPERA. And it’s a damn catchy song. I was disgusted, yet laughing. It was awesome.

But the biggest thing that stuck with me about this game was the ending. A game entirely based on humor and nonsense and out of nowhere it pulls a huge swerve and gives one of the most nihilistic, depressing endings of any video game ever. I remember sitting there as a teenager, shocked, thinking “wait, that’s really how they’re ending this game?” It was a huge mood whiplash and honestly is a big reason why this game still resonates with me today. If it were just shitty humor, it’d be one thing. But they manage to pull off an out-of-nowhere ending and still made it feel earned. That’s the golden age of Rare for you.

Why It’s #34:

Maybe this game should be lower. Maybe I should play it again and realize it’s mostly teenage potty humor and I probably won’t laugh as much. But on the other hand, there really isn’t a game like this. Yeah, there are games like Duke Nukem 3D and Leisure Suit Larry who wear crassness on their sleeve but Conker’s Bad Fur Day somehow manages to be both dumb and intelligent while not feeling like either is out of place. It’s a true master class of design and the pinnacle of these types of platformers, in my opinion.